A negative individual may also display envy or jealousy towards you and make you feel bad about your accomplishments and achievements at work. They may tell you that you are not accomplished or that you did not deserve recognition for something you did. For example, when you receive a promotion or a bonus, the negative individual may tell you that “you got lucky” or “you didn’t deserve such a pay bump”.
A negative person may think the worst is going to happen and always see things as only good or bad, with an emphasis on the bad. This could be a friend who likes to remind you that “we are all doomed and alone” or a peer who tells you that you are “not smart” or “not unique”.
The negative person may also continuously remind you that your opinions are not worthwhile or correct and try to chip away at your self-esteem and self-confidence. They may tell you you are “stupid”, “worthless”, or “dumb”. They may also disregard your opinions when you talk by telling you to “shut up” or disregard what you have to say completely.
This could also mean shifting the amount of time you spend with negative individuals so it can be more positive and productive. Invite a negative person out with your more positive friends so she can see what being around positive conversation and attitudes can feel like. You could also limit the amount of airtime the negative person receives by going out together in a big group rather than one on one so you both have a chance to talk to others, rather than talk to each other about negative things.
Try to maintain these boundaries even if the negative individual attempts to encroach on them. Remind yourself that setting these boundaries will help both of you avoid a potential conflict and allow you to still work or live around this person out of necessity.
Countering negativity with a positive attitude can also help you defuse the negative perspective of your friends or relatives and address the negativity in a way that feels proactive and open.
Though more obvious unhealthy habits like partying and drinking may be an issue, other habits like unhealthy eating or unhealthy relationships with others can also bring you down and contribute to the negativity in your life. Because it’s easy to get stuck in destructive habits and relationships, try to raise self-awareness of those things in your life by keeping a trigger log of what makes you feel or behave negatively. [6] X Expert Source Michael SternLife Coach Expert Interview. 1 July 2020.
Rather than stop doing all of these activities cold turkey, you can try to reduce the amount of time you devote to them. This may mean going out only one or two times a week instead of every night after work, or choosing one night a week as your going out night with friends or your partner. Blowing off stress by being social with friends does not always have to mean drinking at bars; instead you could try to spend more time at home by inviting friends over for a relaxing night in or cooking for friends as a way to socialize.
You might also consciously or unconsciously blame yourself when something bad happens, making every bad moment personal for you. For example, a friend may cancel a night out with you and a group of friends, and rather than let it go, you may convince yourself that plans were changed because no one wanted to hang out with you. You may think, “It’s all my fault” or “No one likes me”. When you have negative self-talk, you may convince yourself the worst is going to happen and that disaster is imminent at every turn. You may also have a very either/or view of the world, where situations are either good or bad and there is no grey zone or possibility for the positive. You may think, “Everything sucks” or “Nothing good is happening to me”.
Say positive affirmations out loud to yourself every day, focusing on the phrase “you are what you think”. Vocalize positive thoughts in the morning to start your day on a good note and focus your energy on positivity for the rest of the day. This means phrases that start with “I can” and “I will”. For example: “Today, I will acknowledge and celebrate my accomplishments”, “I am a powerhouse; I am strong”, “I can overcome negative thoughts”.
You should also drink lots of water throughout the day so you stay hydrated, especially if you have a physically active lifestyle. Avoid sugary drinks like soda and carbonated drinks.
