If you’re feeling self-conscious about it, get advice from a friend who has a bit more experience dating girls. You’ll see that there’s nothing to be scared about. Remember that even guys who have been dating girls for years often feel clueless or at a loss; relationships are growing, ever-evolving things, and there won’t be a magical moment when you suddenly “get it”. While you don’t need to lie about having had a girlfriend, you don’t need to broadcast it, either. That may just make you feel self-conscious.
It’s a good idea to go for someone with who you can see yourself really starting a relationship. That said, you don’t need to be so picky that you’re only willing to ask a girl out if she seems like she can be your soul mate. Don’t focus as much on looks. Of course, you may want to have a pretty girl, but it doesn’t have to look like some supermodel or something like that. Try to be more realistic and be more open-minded about girls that wear glasses, are a little chubby, have acne, very tall or very short, are tomboyish, have tattoos, piercings, and hair dye, etc. These traits are more of your average person on the street and not somebody off of TV or a magazine. The more attractive girls want a more traditional male and you may be more non-traditional than most males so you might want to broaden your horizons for girls. Try to find common interests. If you like sports, join an intramural sports team or go to local sporting events. If you like music, go to concerts or join the band or orchestra. If you like books, go to the library or a bookstore. The internet is excellent for finding people with more obscure interests.
Don’t be afraid to be a little bit goofy or silly if that’s who you are. You don’t have to act like a macho man or a standoffish bro to get a girl’s attention.
You don’t have to start a deep conversation with her. Just ask how she’s doing, smile, try to make her laugh, and take the pressure off. You can talk to her at a time when you know you’ll only have a few minutes, like in between classes. This will help make you less nervous because you won’t feel like you need to keep the conversation going for a long time.
This doesn’t mean you should leave abruptly. Just say you’ve had a great time talking to her and that you look forward to picking up your conversation later. You don’t have to tell her you have to go because you’re late to your Aunt Bertha’s birthday party, either. It’s okay to keep things a little bit mysterious.
For instance, you might tell her that she has a great sense of style. Don’t say anything about her figure or she may get embarrassed or will take it the wrong way. But there’s nothing wrong with saying something as simple as, “That’s a funky sweater. ”
Stand tall, look her in the eye, and talk about all of the things you love in your life to show her that you’re a confident guy who is worth knowing. When it comes to having confidence, there’s something to be said for faking it until you make it. Build up confidence can take a long time, but you can make an effort to address your flaws and learn to accept the things you can’t change about yourself little by little. Another way to develop your confidence is to make sure to spend time with people who actually make you feel good about yourself. If your friends are always putting you down, then it’s time to consider finding a new group of more supportive people.
Her hobbies Her pets Her favorite bands, movies, TV shows, or actors Her friendships Her favorite places to visit Her holiday plans
If she’s obviously having a bad day, come up to her and ask her what’s wrong. Let her see that you’re not just planning on being there during the good times. When you’re in a group or alone with her, flirt with her a little. Be playful, give her a gentle push on the arm or shoulder, and tease her in a friendly way. Take pleasure in making her laugh and let her see that you really do care without being too forward.
If you’re in a group setting, it’s nice to give her some extra attention, but that doesn’t mean you have to single her out too much, either. Talking to other girls will show that you’re less intense and open to being social with more people. If you have her number, you shouldn’t always be the one who calls or texts her. Put the ball in her court, sometimes.
You can even help her carry her books to class if her load is too heavy. Make sure she welcomes this kind of help, though. You can help her out as long as you make sure she doesn’t take advantage of you. You want her to see you as a potential boyfriend, not as an errand boy.
If you need advice about something, even if it’s just a question of what to wear to the school dance or more of a serious matter, like how to confront your friend about something he did wrong, turning to the girl you like can make her see that you really do value her opinion. Make sure you don’t ramble on and on about topics like politics or music without stopping to ask her how she actually feels about it.
Don’t be nervous about finding something you have in common right away. As you get to know the girl more, you’ll naturally find something. You may not have many interests in common, but you can share other things, such as a similar background or a similar disposition.
There’s no magical amount of time that you need to spend with the girl before you ask her to be your girlfriend. If you want to ask her after spending just a week together, that’s fine, too, as long as you’ve had some time to get to know each other. You also don’t want to reach the point where you’ve spent months hanging out with her and haven’t asked her out. This may be leading you straight to the Friend Zone, and it can be tricky to get out of that.
If you’ve never really been alone with the girl before, then try to ask her in a private place, but don’t go out of your way to isolate her. Before you ask her to meet you, try to check her mood. Make sure she seems happy, focused, and not stressed out.
Move a bit closer toward her and look her in the eyes when you ask. She’ll be impressed with your confidence. You can compliment her a bit before you ask, but don’t lay it on too thick. You don’t want to make her uncomfortable. Remember—the best way to stay out of the friend zone is to be open and honest about what you want. You want to be friendly, but you also want to be clear that you’re looking for more than friendship. [9] X Research source
If she does say she wants to be your girlfriend, let her see how happy this makes you. You don’t have to play it cool if you really do like her. If she says no, don’t insult her or be mean to her. Treat her with respect, knowing that she really can’t help her feelings.
Don’t ever take your girlfriend for granted. You should always try to add some romance to the relationship, compliment her, and let her know how special she is. Don’t let your lack of experience keep you from enjoying your relationship. There’s no need to worry about it and all you can do is focus on the present moment and enjoy every second with your girlfriend that you can.
