There is no such thing as a “secret divorce” or “emergency divorce. " Divorce proceedings are public records governed by state law. Some details, especially concerning children, may be sealed by the court, but the existence of the divorce, the parties, and the case number are public records and those records can be found. [2] X Research source [3] X Research source Divorce must be granted by a court. There is no “common law divorce,” meaning that if you are separated for a certain amount of time, you are automatically divorced. A divorce action does not begin until a petition is filed with the court. On the other side, there is no requirement for you to consent to the divorce. A common myth is that you can only be divorced if you agree. Your spouse can file for a divorce in any court where she can establish jurisdiction. No divorce can proceed without giving you notice. However, depending on the circumstances, that notice may be in a newspaper in your, or your spouse’s, hometown. Don’t assume that because you haven’t been served that there isn’t a divorce proceeding pending.
Divorce is an action of state law. As a result, there is no national compilation of divorce records. If your estranged spouse is active duty military, National Guard, or active reserves, check both the state and county where he is stationed and the state and county where he lived for at least six months before his most recent deployment. Most state laws recognize both of these locations as residency for a divorce action. [4] X Research source
If the answer is “yes,” you have several options. The first is to contact an attorney of your own and let her deal with your spouse on your behalf. Next is to deal directly with his attorney. If you don’t have children and very little property, the divorce maybe be as simple as arranging a meeting to sign agreements. Remember that while your spouse’s attorney may be very nice and helpful, he represents your spouse and his interests, not you. If are feel uncomfortable or pressured, back off and contact your own attorney. You have a right to copies of all documents and time to review them outside the attorney’s office.
Be very careful and verify you have found your spouse. In informal forums, people may use nicknames, odd spellings, and not use full names. However, it still gives you a place to start.
Most courthouses have a public records computer terminal. You can search by your name or the name of your spouse. Check them carefully and get the right file. The documents can usually be printed for a small fee. Ask the court clerk’s office for help. The counter clerk can look records up for you and confirm whether a divorce has been filed. If so, you can get copies of the documents for a small fee.
There may be a fee for this service. Contact the court clerk’s office to find out the cost and how to send payment with your written request.
If you work odd hours or travel, the sheriff may have been trying to contact you. If you find out the sheriff has divorce papers for you, arrange to pick them up as soon as possible. Avoiding service doesn’t stop the divorce.
Start with the most likely counties first. Where you live and where your spouse lives. Expand your search from there. Some states has searchable databases of legal notices. Others will require that you contact the newspaper by phone or in writing.
Use your favorite search engine and search “STATE vital statistics”. For example, to find Ohio’s website, search “Ohio vital statistics”. If there is a divorce record, it will include the county where it was granted and you can get a copy of the documents.
Read the documents thoroughly. If you agree with the divorce and do not wish to contest it, contact your spouse or his attorney to finalize the agreements. If you want to contest, you should consult with a family law attorney as soon as possible.
If you agree with the divorce, or don’t care, you can let it stand, even if your former spouse lied to get the divorce. If you do not agree, you can contact an attorney about modifying or overturning the divorce. [7] X Research source Even if the appeal period has passed, if the divorce was gained through fraud, you may be able to vacate the judgment. It is not easy, but may be worth it, for example, if your spouse has considerable financial assets that you would have been entitled to share. [8] X Research source One of the most common lies told in this type of divorce is your spouse saying she couldn’t find you for service and effecting service by publication.
