Start by rating your day on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is the best, and one is the worst. Don’t think too hard. Just think about how happy you were that day. Write down what you did that day. If you can, try to figure out what made the day good or bad, happiness-wise. Try to write down things that go on, even if you’re not sure how they affect your happiness yet, such as “Worked on my novel,” or “Went to the movies. "
You can find any number of these quizzes online to take. Try taking more than one to get a broader answer.
In addition to helping you find what makes you happy, meditation can lead you to greater happiness just by doing it because it releases chemicals in your body that make you happier, such as endorphins and serotonin. [6] X Research source One option for meditation is just to sit quietly with your eyes closed and practice deep breathing. You can count to four in your head as you breathe in through your nose and hold for four counts. Count to four again as you slowly breathe out. Keeping practice this breathing for several minutes, trying to focus solely on your breath moving in and out. If you don’t want to fly solo on meditation, consider using guided meditation. You can find a number of guided meditations online, or you can download a meditation app for your phone.
A therapist can help you cut through the cloudiness and see you for who you really are, even when you can’t do that by yourself. If you’re not sure how to start looking for a therapist, ask your friends for recommendations, especially ones that you know have used a therapist before. If you can’t afford a therapist, go to a sliding scale clinic, where you will pay based on what you make.
Identifying your values can help you figure out what will make you the most happy. For instance, if you realize you value your family over your job, you may decide to spend more time at home. For example, maybe you would write “my family,” “my pets,” and “my job. " Also write down things that aren’t important to you and things that don’t make you happy so you can work to eliminate them from your life. [8] X Expert Source Lauren KrasnyExecutive, Strategic, & Personal Coach Expert Interview. 27 March 2020.
For example, if you listed “my family,” then “family happiness” is probably one of your values. If you listed “travel,” then maybe adventure is one of your values.
You can also try ranking the values you’ve starred to see which ones feel the most important to you. If you’re having a hard time deciding, ask yourself which ones you could live without. For instance, you might find that you can live without adventure as long as your family is happy.
An assessment will ask you a series of questions, sometimes scenario-based, to help determine what your values are. However, remember that no assessment is perfect, and if you feel like the values you get back are off, feel free to move them around as needed.
For instance, if you find you value your family more, you may want to consider spending more time at home by cutting back on your hours. Another example is that if you find you value adventure, spend more time seeking it in your life. You don’t need to go on glamorous vacations to find adventure. You can do it in your own city by seeking out new places to visit, new things to try, and new restaurants to eat. The point is whatever values you have at the top, especially the top value, should come first in your life. You need to make space for it with your time, energy, and money.
You don’t have to be good at the hobby for you to enjoy it. You just need to find it meaningful and relaxing. [15] X Research source
If you find you aren’t enjoying a hobby anymore, it’s fine to abandon it and explore other hobbies you may enjoy more.
Find a place to volunteer in your community. Pick something you’re passionate about or that fits your skill set. For instance, maybe you are passionate about helping the homeless, so you decide to volunteer at a soup kitchen. Alternatively, maybe you are a skilled marketer, so you decide to help out a local nonprofit with its marketing.
For instance, instead of looking as setbacks as failures, try looking at them as either flukes or something that you can learn from. In other words, if you have a setback, you may need to take a different approach, not quit altogether. However, optimists do need a sense of realism, too. That is, while you hope for the best, it’s fine to take some precautions to ward off certain outcomes.
One way to increase your sense of control is to set deadlines for yourself, even for personal tasks. When you complete a task, you feel more in control because you’ve laid out something for you to do, and you’ve done it.
If you need more friends in your life, pursuing hobbies through joining a club can help. That way, you meet people with similar interests, and you have something to talk about.
