Think of people who make you happy. Write down their qualities. Are these the qualities you want in a partner? This is the one time to be selfish about what YOU want. Not what other people want. Evaluate your own personality. Most people are happiest with someone of a similar personality, so rank your own qualities as well.
Goals might include: work or school related accomplishments, working toward greater mental stability and happiness, starting a family, traveling, etc. You’ll want to find someone who won’t impede any of these goals. For instance, if your goal is greater mental stability and happiness, but you meet a really handsome, smart, work-oriented guy who neglects his own happiness and mental health, you might want to pass. Imagine the ideal length of the relationship. Do you want a perfect summer fling? A great boyfriend for the rest of school? A future husband? This is important because you need to know which of your goals to protect.
This will guide you as you find your perfect guy. For instance, if you want to stay in your hometown, you should date someone who is also from there or who says they really want to stay there. If you want to be able to prioritize your career, you need to find someone who is willing to take on a more supportive role, or who is equally career-focused and will prioritize your career advancement as much as his own.
Be careful not to date someone one of your friends likes—check before you ask him out.
Make a point of talking to several new people at every gathering you attend. Don’t just chat up the cuties—if you make friends, they’ll introduce you to eligible men.
If he complains about his exes or other women, or refers to women as “crazy” or “hysterical,” he’s probably a terrible boyfriend. If he criticizes you, even if he balances it with compliments, he’s trying to manipulate you. Listen to how he talks about himself. Does he brag a lot? Does he tell stories in which he’s completely the hero or completely the victim? These are signs of instability. Watch out for “too good to be true. " Ironically, if he seems perfect, he’s probably manipulating your view of him.
Does he ask you questions? If he does, he’s trying to learn about you. Look at his feet and hips. Are they pointed at you when you’re talking? When you’re in a group? These are unconscious signs that you’re the one he’s most interested in. [2] X Research source
You can also wait until he asks, but make sure to talk to him, smile at him, and flirt with him while you wait.
Do you feel capable around him? Strong? These are excellent signs. If he makes you feel nervous and unworthy, these are bad signs.
It’s great if you meet someone who becomes the “new perfect”—not the guy you wanted, but the guy you really need.
