Do not worry about how your writing sounds; this journal is just for you, and no one else will read it. It’s important that you are completely open and honest, not that the writing is particularly good.
When have you been happiest in your life? What has made you truly proud of yourself? What qualities do you most admire in other people? What makes you feel really alive and energized? How happy do you feel on an everyday basis? If you had one week to live, how would you spend that week? What “shoulds” are overriding your “want tos”? If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be? What one change could make your life happier?
If your primary loves are your family, you are unlikely to feel fulfilled if your life is dominated by a career that causes you to spend almost all of your time away from them.
It can be useful to think about the type of play you most enjoyed as a child. [7] X Research source Does similar play (or work that mimics that sort of play) bring you a childlike joy?
For example, say that you picture yourself 90 years old, surrounded by great-grandchildren, happily retired after a successful career helping your community, living in your own home with a lot of land. This tells you that you want to have a family, that you’d like to have a career helping others, and that you would like to live independently in a rural setting. Your backwards planning could lead you to determine that you should start having children when you are 28, you’d like to find a position as a social worker by 25, and you should maintain your health constantly so that you can continue to live independently in old age.
Think from first principles - what change do you personally want to see in the world if you didn’t care what others thought of you? Be conscious of what thoughts are your own vs. those passed onto you. Have you ever thought starting a business is hard? Or that you can’t make money following your passion? These are beliefs generally passed down to us that may not be true. Think to yourself what thoughts are yours vs. what others have told you.
For example, you may decide that the purpose of humanity is to help each other thrive in the world. Your own personal purpose can then be to help people in your community thrive, and you can determine what steps you need to take to work towards that.
You may want to keep this list in your purpose journal. Remember that you do not have to admire or emulate every aspect of an individual—rather, you are using the individual to home in on specific characteristics that you would like to have too.
Once you have a greater awareness of other people around you, decide how you want to interact with those people. Determine how you would like other people to view you in relation to themselves, and then work to be that person for them.
For example, you may not realize that your own actions inspire your friends to want to emulate you. A friend might say, “I think you are great at putting a plan into action once it’s made, rather than waiting for someone else to get started. ” You can tie this strength into your purpose.
For example, if your life’s purpose is “to bring happiness to myself and others,” you may have the sub-purposes “to feel fulfilled in my work, to be patient with my family, to make my kids laugh, and to listen well to my friends. ” All of these work towards your greater purpose. The advantage to having multiple facets to your life’s purpose is that if one area is lagging or not going well, you won’t feel like you’re entirely off track. For example, if your work life is not fulfilling, but your home and social lives are, you can still feel like you’re working towards happiness.
Once you have decided your purpose, write it down. Post it somewhere that you can read it every day, reminding yourself of what you want in life. You can ask yourself each day if you’ve done things to work towards that purpose.
Often, people do not know what is likely to make them truly happy, so even if your goal is to bring happiness to yourself and others, meeting the immediate demands of others won’t help you live your purpose.
For example, if your current career is not fulfilling and doesn’t mesh with your life’s purpose, you may write “find a new career” on the list. However, you may not want to immediately quit your current job before finding a new one due to the practicalities of paying bills and keeping your family housed and fed. Divide your list into short-term, medium-term, and long-term changes.
For example, if your purpose is to bring happiness to yourself and others, you should avoid saying things that are hurtful to others. You should avoid things that make you truly unhappy, like spending time with individuals that cause you to feel bad about yourself.
